I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
