Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
