Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
