Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize
