Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
