so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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