Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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