i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
