Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
