After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
