I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
