D3 body, D1 cock
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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