After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
