you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
