**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
