I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
This show inspires me to have sex in space
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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