i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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