I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
