last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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