fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
two words: eviction party
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
