Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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