Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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