We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
