i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
