you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
