I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
handjob tips. give me some.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
