She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
