While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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