I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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