Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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