You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
