I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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