We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize