I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
