i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
