i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
