We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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