Non-Jews are for practice
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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