She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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