Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
