Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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