i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Randomize
