my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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