Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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