He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We had sex on a dog bed..
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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