Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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