i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
