I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
