D3 body, D1 cock
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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