I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
