Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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